Yes
by Edie K
Summary: A short story picking up right where "Face-Off" left off. What was Rory thinking? R/J


TITLE: Yes

AUTHOR: MissBrooke06

DISCLAIMER: Okay, a Gilmore Girls is not mine otherwise in tonight's episode, Jess would have been there. Oh, and I don't own the scene I borrowed from Swan Song and I won't pretend like I do. 

RATING: PG-13

AUTHOR NOTE: This story is picking up right where Face-Off left off. There was speculation all week over what happened that Rory looking so forlorn and no one thought of this. I didn't think of it until two days ago. So I started the story and I finished it tonight mainly because it pissed me off they didn't address the issue. So anyway, I hope you enjoy this little one parter. Please review! 

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Rory sighed into her overstuffed pillow. That night, she lied to her mother. And it didn't burn in the pit of her stomach anymore. It had become so commonplace in the last few weeks. She had tried to tell her self that she wasn't lying at first. She was just leaving the truth out. But she knew the sin of omission was just as great as the sin of commission. So she tried to validate herself. _If only they gave him a chance, they would see,_ she thought. She knew it was still wrong. But today she realized something. Something that would change everything. 

She didn't care. 

She didn't care that she was lying or hiding things from the people she cared about. It didn't matter. They really did have it coming. They refused to let her grow up and be herself. All of them. Except one. 

Jess. 

And yet, she gave into them again. She did not do what she wanted to do but what they wanted her to do. 

She had endured so much grief because her initial attraction to him. And once she admitted her feelings, it still poured in. Why did they think she was allowing some guy to lead her around? And she knew why. 

Because she had broken from their mold. 

No one in this town would have chosen Jess for her with the exception of Luke, who upon hearing her choice recanted his support. It was her first real choice. And she was proud of it. In the next few weeks, a new choice would be presented. Harvard or Yale. But before than, she had another choice. One she had blown tonight. 

She thought back to the events of the weekend. Yes, Jess hadn't called her. And she was angry about that at the time. Everyone yelled at her for not going out without him. And she gave in. The truth was that she was waiting for Jess because she didn't feel like being her perfect self this weekend. She felt like being her human self. 

And only Jess allowed that. But she kept that fact a secret. He truly understood her and cared about her. But she kept that a secret too. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They were sitting outside of her house, on top of Jess's car. Their backs were pressed against the windshield and their hands were intertwined. The car was running and the radio was playing softly in the moonlight. Jess rolled his head to the side and looked at her. 

"Hey Ror," he had said. "I love you." 

And that was all he said. There were no cheesy metaphors or declarations of laying down his life for her. No wordy explanations of why these feelings had formed. And that was okay. Because they were not needed. 

"I love you too," she said back simply. And she kissed him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The kisses were on her mind again. In fact, they were never far from it. Rory had tried to explain them to Lane. The difference between these kisses and her ones with Dean. Jess's kisses were filled with desire for her. In fact, Jess himself was filled with desire for her. When they had first met, she had felt that desire but didn't think of it in such a sexual way. She had thought it was a naïve infatuation. Jess's kisses made her hot all over but had her feel refreshed all at the same time. They made her realize that she could feel the way that movie characters do. Every time their lips met, white-hot desire flashed through Rory's body. At first, she hadn't recognized. But now, she did. 

She may have been different with Jess than she was with everyone else but she still possessed that shyness in their heated makeout sessions. She was much better and more comfortable with giving pleasure than receiving it. And she still had problems with that. She smiled shyly as she thought back to the afternoon after a new sexual endeavor. She was in the diner at a table trying to sip an extra thick milkshake through a straw. Jess raised an eyebrow at the sight of her sucking with all her might and she remembered the way she flushed instantly when she recalled the previous night's events and trying to explain her red face to her mom and Lane. _It's okay, _she recalled. _He paid for that later._ She smiled to herself. 

She had tried to divulge her little secrets. She sighed as she thought about it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rory walked in to the living room and took a deep breath. "Mom?" she called.

"Hm? Is that you, Rhett?" Lorelai had called back. 

"I bring food," she played right back. 

"Oh, thank God. Ha! One of everything at Al's. Bless you with gluttony," said 

Lorelai, opening the cartons and digging in. Aren't you hungry?" 

"Yeah," said Rory, uneasily. 

"Well, come on, dig in. What's wrong?" Lorelai asked. 

"Nothing. Um, listen," she said. _It's now or never,_ she thought.

"I'm listening," said Lorelai, looking a little worried.

"When I said before that I was too busy to think about it, I realized now that I'm 

not too busy to think about it," Rory blurted out. _Good way to ease into it._

"Think about it?" Lorelai asked quizzically. 

"About it," Rory responded, stressing the last word. 

"Oh, it," said Lorelai, looking slightly sick. 

"Yeah, it," Rory answered. 

"Ha, it," Lorelai said. 

"Nothing's happened yet, but. . .it might. Maybe," Rory said. _Okay, so maybe I'm _

bending the truth a little bit but I think that it's better this way. Besides, it's not like IT 

happened yet. 

"Maybe?" Lorelai prompted, looking like she wished she could be somewhere else. 

"Maybe. . .with Jess," she finally said. _Okay, I'm halfway there._

"Hm, with Jess," said Lorelai, looking like she wanted to bolt out of the room and hunt Jess down. 

"You still want me to tell you everything, right?" Rory said, trying to work up the courage. _Who knew something so natural could be so nerve racking? _

"Yeah. Uh, no. Well…" Lorelai said.

"Which is it?" Rory asked. _Maybe this isn't such a good idea._

"We're doing this now," Lorelai said with a sigh. 

"Yes. Which is it?" Rory responded, trying to sound strong. 

"I don't know," Lorelai admitted. 

"You'll let me know?" said Rory. _Tonight is not the night._

"Yeah," Lorelai said in a flat tone. 

"Was that, yeah, you'll let me know, or yeah, that's your answer, you wanna know?" Rory asked. _Either way,_ she decided. _Tonight is definitely not the night. _

"I guess, I wanna know, yes, and now, sure," Lorelai responded. 

"Well, nothing's happened," Rory said, sparing her mother for the night. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The conversation went on for a few more uncomfortable sentences. That was a month ago and she still had not been able to tell her mother what was going on. Maybe she didn't want to. She wanted to keep these new feelings that rushed through her blood and into her heart to herself. 

So even with her new inner independence, she had made the wrong decision tonight. Or maybe she had made the right decision but it definitely for the wrong reason. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She held Jess's hand as she followed him up the stairs to the apartment. 

"Luke?" called Jess into the darkened apartment. He crossed to the answering machine that was blinking red. He pressed the gray button. "Jess? I am really glad that you didn't answer the phone so I don't have to put up with your bull. I'm staying the night here with Nicole. I'll be back around 7. Have the diner open. And stay the hell out of trouble. I'm going to ask Lorelai and find out what time you got Rory home. Bye." 

"So…" said Rory. She crossed over to him and threw her arms around his neck to draw him close. The two met in a heated kiss and fell back on the couch. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She smiled at that thought. It was so hard for her and Jess to catch a minute alone to explore things. They had ten minutes for a little bit of a make out session before Luke would come up the stairs with some ridiculous excuse for being there. She giggled remembering the first time Jess had slipped his hand up her shirt. Jess was usually one to push the limits with Luke but when he had opened the apartment door, Jess pulled his hand back so fast Rory thought it was on fire. So far, they hadn't been caught doing anything they "should not be doing". _Who's to decide what we should and should not do?_ Rory thought disgustedly. 

And that was exactly the problem. It was no one's business but hers. Well, and Jess. But he pretty much went along with her. Rory thought back to the previous events of the night and she had to hold herself back from running out into the kitchen and yelling at her mother for just how wrong she was about Jess. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The two chests were heaving vigorously in unison. And the two bodies were in the same stages of undress and disarray: Shirts off, chests bare, and pants unzipped. The whole thing had become familiar over the past month and a half. Familiar but still exciting. And this was usually the point where it ended, for fear or for lack of time. But neither was a factor tonight. 

Jess looked straight into Rory's eyes. "Hey," he said.

Normally, she would tease him for his lack of vocabulary but she knew this was serious. "Hey," she said back simply.

He seemed to be deciding what to say exactly. She could practically hear the bells and whistles in his head working overtime. _Just go Evan Marriott and blurt it out,_ thought Rory. 

"Do you want to go any further?" he finally said. 

There it was. Out there, hanging. Waiting for her answer. His eyes bore into hers. They weren't pleading or begging. They weren't expecting. They were filled with a want and desire but also possessed much love and sincerity. 

"No," she simply answered and felt the word pierce her inside. 

"Okay," he said back. His eyes never changed. They still possessed those same emotions. He kissed her forehead and both cheeks. He kissed her nose and her lips lightly. "So, do you want me to take me home now or will you just lay here with me for a few minutes?" asked Jess.

"I'll stay with you for a little while longer." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She smiled at the thought of Jess wanting to cuddle. Of course, he would never call it that or admit that was what it was. And she would never call it that in front of him. But it was the truth. 

So why had she said no? Why? It wasn't that they weren't prepared. Three weeks ago, Jess had opened his nightstand drawer to retrieve a book for her and she had spied the unopened box in there. Jess had glanced at her briefly and knew she saw it but said nothing. 

The thought reminded her to get out of bed. Rory quickly crossed to the door and locked it quietly. She walked to her bookcase and pulled out _Black Beauty_. She opened the book and found it to be hollow in the center of the pages. This was her only hiding place. The sock drawer was off limits for her, seeing how often her mother rummaged through her doors for the perfect outfit. The bookcase was a place Lorelai would never look. 

Rory pulled out the smooth compact and opened it up. She took a tablet out of its circular rotation and popped it in her mouth. She took a swig of the day old glass of water that was sitting on her nightstand. It was warm and almost had a sweet quality to it. She sank back down on her bed.

She took her pill at night because when she had taken her very first one during the day, it made her nauseous. She had a feeling it was just the psychological guilt weighing on her so she took it at night when she didn't have to think about it. She had been swallowing these pills nightly for almost two months now. Every since the "I love you, Ror" night. 

The kisses and the conversation were what made her skip her last period class the following day and head to the doctor's office. She remembered the way she felt in there. She always knew that she would need to go someday. She had dreaded it. But now, being there she didn't feel apprehensive or jealous. She felt… good. But not as good as she had last week. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They were sitting in front of her house again, this time on the porch steps. They both had books out but Rory noticed that Jess had not turned the page for the longest time. 

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"Huh- what? No," he answered quickly. 

"Uh, that wasn't the most convincing argument. What's up?" 

"I just," Jess started and stopped. "This is so pathetic." 

"What is?" 

"The thing. The thing that has me all weird," Jess said.

"Just tell me," Rory said. 

"No laughing," Jess said. 

"I swear," Rory said back. 

He turned to her and met her gaze. "It's just that… I can't stop thinking about you. All day long. I forget what I should be doing or all the words I know and all the information I gathered. It's still in my head but it's this big cloudy mass and the only thing clear in it is you and I have to tell you, it's a bit distracting." 

She bit her lip and smiled. "I love you too Jess." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If Jess could that gushy with her, it was true love. She knew it, he knew it and no one else knew it. And that did not matter. 

Rory crossed back to her door and unlocked it. She peeked back down the hall. The kitchen and living room lights were out and she no longer heard a TV. She closed her door again and pulled on her tennis shoes. She hoisted her window open and pulled out the storm screen that they had forgotten to take down again this winter. She put one foot out the window and than the other and pulled her body through. Her feet hit the porch and she straightened her body. And then she ran. Ran for a long time it seemed until she came to the unlit building. She paused and looked for a rock. All she could find were miniscule bits of gravel that she picked up and pitched up with all her might to the window. Thankfully, the light flipped on. She heard footsteps and the door opened. 

"Rory? What's wrong?" asked Jess. 

"Yes," she said as her lips crushed his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

THE END! Like, dislike? Let me know!!!!! 


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